In the beginning there was chaos. The world was crying out for a champion, someone who would put things to rights, getting rid of such evils as war, famine, carrots, and people who use that annoying phrase "then I turned round and said". Then I was born. And there was still chaos. Oh well.

Until recently a student. Now a civil servant which ain't half as exciting.

Seeing live bands, the whole festival experience, being a music anorak,drinking proper beer, none of this lager malarkey,playing Dungeons and Dragons, growing silly goatees then shaving them off in a fit of common sense, repeated in an endless circle, buying DVDs, asphyxiating alpacas.